THE RECENT Supreme Court ruling permitting prayer at government functions holds many ramifications for our day-to-day life, such as getting a comfortable seat at the city council meeting before the clerk starts reading the entire book of Revelation.
In writing for the majority, Justice Anthony M. Kennedy held that public prayer is “deeply embedded in the history and tradition of this country” and should be permitted as a ceremonial practice. Like, maybe at the D.C. Department of Motor Vehicles:
Driver: I’m here to renew my driver’s license.
DMV clerk: Let us pray.
Driver: Excuse me?
DMV clerk: With every head bowed, and every eye closed, we pray to the Lord Jesus Christ that his love will pour out on this driver, and by the grace of the Living God, he will always come to a complete stop, when appropriate.
Driver: Amen, I guess. Now, will I need to take a new photo?
DMV clerk: God knows who you are and what you look like. Because, his eye is on the sparrow, and I know he watches you.
Driver: You’re going to sing, aren’t you?
DMV clerk: I sing because I’m happy, I sing because I’m free, for his eye is ...
Driver: Got it. God is always watching me.
DMV clerk: And we have several traffic cameras throughout the city to help God in that regard.
Driver: Be that as it may, do I have to do anything else to renew my license?
DMV clerk: Are you washed in the Blood of the Lamb?
Driver: Um, I’m not sure. I showered this morning, but ...
DMV clerk: We’ll let it go this time. Okay, that’ll be $47.
Driver: That’s a lot higher than last year.
DMV clerk: I added 10 percent as a tithe to the church of your choice. Now, which style of license do you prefer: the Ten Commandments or Nativity scene?
Driver: Surprise me.
DMV clerk: You look like you need a good dose of the Old Testament today, so let’s go with that. And here are some tracts about the afterlife I think you’ll enjoy.
Driver: Should you be doing this? The Supreme Court ruled in favor of prayer at public proceedings, but I don’t think you’re supposed to proselytize.
DMV clerk: Sir, these materials are nondenominational and nonsectarian so that, whatever religious expression you choose, you will have all the information you need to develop a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.
Driver: That’s sounds suspiciously like the Great Commission.
DMV clerk: We like to call it the D.C. Vehicular Code, praise the Lord.
Driver: But when Justice Kennedy wrote the majority decision he was talking about a limited use of prayer at public gatherings, not spreading the gospel.
DMV clerk: Kennedy is an old Irish Catholic name, isn’t it? Must be a good man. Not like those Jewish ladies on the court. You know, Ginsberg, Kagan, Goldameir.
Driver: That’s Sotomayor. And she’s Roman Catholic.
DMV clerk: Ah, a good Irish girl.
Driver: No, she’s Latina. By the way, the guy behind me?
DMV clerk: Yes?
Driver: I think he’s Muslim.
DMV clerk: Oh, goodie.
Ed Spivey Jr. is art director of Sojourners.
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