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I found God in an Exodus community called Alcoholics Anonymous. My primary conversion text is the healing of the Gerasene demoniac, which concludes, "The man from whom the demons had gone begged that he might be with him; but Jesus sent him away, saying, 'Return to your home, and declare how much God has done for you' " (Luke 8:22-39).

Jesus made a conscious decision to cross the lake from his own town, Capernaum, to Gerasa before encountering the demoniac. It was not a whim. Just as the evil spirits invariably recognize Jesus as the Christ before we do, so Jesus invariably goes to confront evil before we recognize it as such. The basic story epitomizes my experience of recovering from a demon named alcoholism--how God's power will heal the addict who is willing to put down his ego and ask for help, who will name his disease and admit his powerlessness before it.

Alcoholism is a three-faced disease: physical, psychological, and spiritual. It is chronic, progressive, and fatal. There is no cure.

The process of recovery from alcoholism is not a matter of medical science curing the disease. Recovery is grace--a process of being healed by God's love.

THE FACT THAT SHARING our suffering can bring the redemption of God's love is something which is lost in society at large and in most mainstream churches. But it is not lost in Alcoholics Anonymous. It may explain why AA membership is growing at a high rate while mainstream church rolls are declining. The New York Times once noted that "religious leaders have begun suspecting that more lives are being transformed in church basements than in the pews."

The church's problem is contextual. It is upstairs talking about abstract theology while Jesus is downstairs, drinking coffee with the recovering drunks and drug addicts. The church caters to Wall Street when the hungry are homeless on Main Street.

In AA, to keep your sobriety you must give it away; and the process for doing this is to share your experience, strength, and hope with the community. An AA slogan states: "I get drunk, we get sober." The 12 Steps of AA provide a framework for moving through the phases of suffering outlined by theologian Dorothee Soelle, from mute isolation to lamentation to repentance in solidarity with the community.

Suffering is what holds the community together in common union. Shared suffering is what brings redemption to others. Just as Jesus shared his suffering with us and for us, so the recovering addict/alcoholic shares her or his suffering with others and for others in the AA community.

AA teaches rigorous honesty, obedience to God's will, and humility. The slogan is HOW (Honest, Open, and Willing). The model for turning our will and our life over to the care of God is Jesus, who "emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, being born in human likeness. And being found in human form, he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death--even death on a cross" (Philippians 2:7-8).

THE FOUNDATION of recovery is not will power but surrender of one's will to God. Although AA is not a religion, since its founding many have pointed out how much the church needs to learn or reclaim from AA. In AA, like the early church, there are no "good Christians," only sinners. It is said: "Religion is for those afraid of going to hell, and AA spirituality is for those who have already been there."

Theologian Richard Rohr notes a parallel between AA spirituality and the call of liberation theology that we make a preferential option for the poor. Rohr points out that the practice of the 12 Steps "calls us to embrace and love the poor part of ourselves--to find Christ in the wounded, needy depths of our own souls."

And theologian Leonardo Boff says, "Only a society of sisters and brothers whose social fabric is woven out of participation and communion of all in everything can justifiably claim to be an image and likeness (albeit pale) of the Trinity, the foundation and final resting-place of the universe."

AA is such a society. It is open to the chaos; it allows anxiety to be freely, honestly expressed and finds joy in dancing with human diversity. AA's old-timers say all you need to know to believe in God is to know you are not God.

The AA group is a community where it is OK to make mistakes and where we are home at last. We know we are in the presence of God when our experience is supported, shared, challenged, or refined by those called by God to journey with us.

Sidebar: The 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous

Integrating the conviction of the Word.

(With Scripture references selected by Monty Roberts)

Step 1

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable.

I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree that the law is good. But in fact it is no longer I that do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin that dwells within me. --Romans 7:15-20

Step 2

Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Then Jesus said to him, "What do you want me to do for you?" The blind man said to him, "My teacher, let me see again." Jesus said to him, "Go, your faith has made you well." Immediately he regained his sight and followed him on the way." --Mark 10:51-52

Step 3

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

I appeal to you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God--what is good and acceptable and perfect . --Romans 12:1-2

Step 4

Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Let us test and examine our ways, and return to the Lord.--Lamentations 3:40

Step 5

Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Therefore confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. --James 5:16

Step 6

Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and God will exalt you.--James 4:10

Step 7

Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

If we confess our sins, Jesus who is faithful and just will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.--1 John 1:9

Step 8

Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

Do to others as you would have them do to you. --Luke 6:31

Step 9

Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift.--Matthew 5:23-24

Step 10

Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

So if you think you are standing, watch out that you do not fall. No testing has overtaken you that is not common to everyone. God is faithful, and will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing God will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it.--1 Corinthians 10:12-13

Step 11

Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.--Philippians 4:4-7

Step 12

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

The man from whom the demons had gone begged that he might be with him; but Jesus sent him away, saying, "Return to your home, and declare how much God has done for you." So he went away, proclaiming throughout the city how much Jesus had done for him.--Luke 8:38-39

Monty Roberts, former director of circulation and development at Sojourners, was a senior associate at Zoetics Inc., a New York City-based marketing think tank, and a member of Riverside Church, when this article appeared.